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Dont shave your ass hair!

This is a discussion on Dont shave your ass hair! within the Off Topic forums, part of the Entertainment category; Hilarious story i found on ebaums world: [ame=http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=85555]Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS - eBaum's World Forum[/ame]...
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  1. #1
    Notorious P.A.T Senior Member AsSaiLaNT9082's Avatar
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    Default Dont shave your ass hair!

    Hilarious story i found on ebaums world: [ame=http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=85555]Before shaving your ass hair, READ THIS - eBaum's World Forum[/ame]

  2. #2
    Senior Member Rad_Archer's Avatar
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    The world sure has some creative peeps in it lol...

  3. #3
    Define ʎʇılɐǝɹ. Senior Member The_Real_PlodeZ's Avatar
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    Obvious thread title is obvious.

  4. #4
    Fear the White Rabbit!!! Senior Member konioko's Avatar
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    OMG that was hilarious. I was laughing the entire time while reading it. Good stuff.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Darki's Avatar
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    "They day my friend waxed my ass"
    Once upon a time, my roommate "Joseph" decided that his true calling in life was to become a stripper. Joseph, who was handsomely endowed, met the requirements to audition as a dancer at one of the local gay clubs downtown (their sole requirement being that one must be handsomely endowed). Alas, there was impending trouble in nekkid homosexual paradise. When Joseph disrobed, it appeared as if a small dog had curled up on his buttocks to take a nap. Surely this condition would not be good for business. Oh, damn those Italian genes! What's a hairy gay wannabe stripper to do?

    This particular hairy gay wannabe stripper went to his female roommate for assistance the night before his audition. "Help me!" he cried. "You're a woman! You know about this shit!" I laid out his options for him, figuring that the removal of ass hair could not be all that different from, say, trimming one's bikini line. After much deliberation, Joseph decided on waxing for its relatively long lasting effect. And that is how I came to literally wax my friend's ass.

    As an assurance that this guide will produce satisfactory results, Joseph's audition was a resounding success. He enjoyed a brief but lucrative career as an erotic dancer before converting to his own peculiar interpretation of Buddhism in which he gave away all of his worldly possessions and attempted to live without money. It is unclear whether the two are related.

    Without further ado, I humbly present...
    Everything You (Didn't) Want to Know About Waxing a Friend's Ass

    Materials

    * Your choice of depilatory wax
    * 3" cloth strips
    * Application spatula (if one is not included with the wax, popsicle sticks work well)
    * A large trash bag or old towel that you don't mind ruining
    * Ice
    * Aloe vera gel
    * Ibuprofen

    Before You Begin

    1. Prior to doing anything else, even gathering your supplies, it is your moral duty as the waxer to inform the waxee that this is gonna hurt. A lot. Even if the waxee chooses to ignore you, this warning serves to avoid all sorts of tearful recriminations and legal repercussions farther down the road. In my case, Joseph scornfully laughed and assured me that he could "take it like a man."
    2. Next, you must prepare the wax staging area. I suggest using the kitchen or bathroom floor for ease of cleanup. Spread out a trash bag or old towel to catch the stray wax drippings that will occur as the waxee thrashes in agony.
    3. For the comfort of everyone involved, tactfully request that the waxee thoroughly wash and dry their ass before the waxing commences. While they are busy scrubbing, heat up the wax according to the manufacturer's directions.

    Technique

    Having situated your freshly scrubbed waxee lying face down on the trash bag or towel, it is time for the truly unpleasant portion of this little exercise. You should, of course, carefully read the directions specific to the particular brand of wax you purchased, but all depilatory wax works pretty much the same way, so you can use the following steps as a guideline.

    Since we are assuming that the waxing procedure is completely platonic (otherwise you would be waxing your lover's ass, an activity which presumably merits an entirely separate guide of its own), I suggest sticking strictly to visible surface area and avoiding crevice territory.

    1. Using the spatula, apply the wax to a small (roughly 3" x 5" or smaller) area of the waxee's posterior. The wax should be spread in a thin, even layer in the direction of hair growth. You may find, as I did, that ass hair is a fickle entity that refuses to grow in one easily detectable direction. If this is the case, simply do the best that you can - if you apply the wax from top to bottom, you should be all right.
    2. While the applied wax is still sticky, press a cloth strip to the wax and smooth it with the flat of your hand in the same direction that you applied the wax. It is important that the cloth firmly bonds to the wax. You may have to wait a minute or two after applying the strip to allow the wax to cool.
    3. Using one hand, grab hold of the outside edge of the waxee's cheek and gently but firmly stretch the waxed skin taut. Stretching the skin taut maximizes the hair removal potential of the wax, as well as making the removal of the wax slightly less painful for the waxee. Nevertheless, the waxee's buttocks may be clenched in absolute terror, perhaps accompanied by whimpers of dread. This tends to occur most often after the first wax strip has been applied and removed. To stimulate unclenching, inform the waxee in a soothing tone of voice that this is for their own good, and remind them that they were the one who requested an ass waxing in the first place.
    4. With your other hand, grab the bottom end of the cloth strip. At this point, it is your prerogative to issue ominous, maniacal laughter. With one quick motion, pull the strip in the opposite direction of hair growth. This motion should be parallel to the surface of the skin. Do not pull upwards, as this will result in incomplete hair removal.
    5. After the screaming has subsided, go back to step 1 and repeat the procedure until that ass is hairless.

    The Aftermath

    Congratulations! You just finished waxing that ass! At this point, the waxee's ass should be completely smooth and hairless. It may also be red, swollen, and painfully sensitive to touch. The application of aloe vera gel will help soothe some of the immediate discomfort (do not, however, use any other sort of moisturizing lotion, which may in fact further irritate the skin). Intermittently applying an ice pack (20 minutes on the skin, 20 minutes off) will help with the swelling. Finally, the waxee should take an over the counter pain reliever, especially if this is the first time they've had their ass waxed. I suggest using Advil or Motrin rather than Tylenol, as ibuprofen possesses anti-inflammatory properties that acetaminophen does not. Discomfort should subside within 12 hours.
    The fin

  6. #6
    Sεмρяε Fι Senior Member CroNe's Avatar
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    3 letters.. W T F !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. #7
    Hey cutie Senior Member
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    wow, that shit was fucking hilarious, and dirty as all hell.

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