Favorite Chuck Norris jokes

[Xtr3m3]

Post your favorite Chuck Norris facts

Mines:

Best: When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. :lol:

Jesus walks on water but Chuck Norris swims through land.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...TWICE!

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Everybody Loves Raymond...except Chuck Norris.

the giraffe was created when chuck norris roundhouse kicked a horse in the head.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever beat the sun in a staring contest.

Death once had a near chuck norris experience! :lol:

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. :lol: :huh:

When performing an exorcism, don't hang up a picture of Jesus. Instead, hang up a picture of Chuck Norris, the demon will know who he's messing with.

chuck norris can delete the recycle bin!!

God wanted to create the Earth in 10 days...but Chuck Norris only gave him 6.

Chuck Norris invented a spoon because killing with knife was way too simple.

If you look up the definition of "pain" in the dictionary. it says "see Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life

Chuck Norris doesn't have nightmares, nightmares have him.

Chuck Norris CAN see John Cena.

Chuck norris turned Godzilla into Barney.

With one stare.

O.O

[giga]

took me about 5 seconds of hard work to find this topic

http://www.ko4life.com/forums/index.php?sh...hl=chuck+norris


edit: these ones were good, i'll give ya that
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won

[Xtr3m3]

LOL Great find! Some of those jokes there are new to me xD

EDIT: For new ones

The pulse of Chuck Norris is measured using the Richter scale.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun

ROFL to these :lol:


The community of parapsychological has documented that Chuck Norris is the only human who has apalizado a ghost.

Someone once tried to tell that to Chuck Norris kicking swivel are not the best way to give a kick to somebody. This fact has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake that anyone has ever committed.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity about multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is much harder than this. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris gave him a kick rotating in the face. Now we know Albert Einstein as Stephen Hawking. :lol: this one is mess up