Funny Jokes

[VxGoDLikExV]

k i got one

One day a bus full of people that were butt ugly was traveling down the interstate when all of a sudden a semi smashes into them,killing them all. Since they were all ugly, noone really cared they were dead. As the ugly people went to heaven (about 20), god made up his mind that he would give each one of them a wish, since noone really cared about them when they were alive. As the first women steps up God announces "I will grant each of u one wish." The women, overly happy, thinks about it for a minute then says, I would like to be beautiful, so everyone in Heaven would look at me. God grants her the wish, and off through the gate she goes. The next man in line hears what she says, and wishes the same thing. Now, as the line goes on everyone wishes they were beautiful, UNTIL god gets to the last person. When god gets to the last person , the ugly man is laughing so hard. God says "What is so funny?" The butt ugly man says "As my wish... make them all ugly again!"

[elucid]

k i got one

One day a bus full of people that were butt ugly was traveling down the interstate when all of a sudden a semi smashes into them,killing them all. Since they were all ugly, noone really cared they were dead. As the ugly people went to heaven (about 20), god made up his mind that he would give each one of them a wish, since noone really cared about them when they were alive. As the first women steps up God announces "I will grant each of u one wish." The women, overly happy, thinks about it for a minute then says, I would like to be beautiful, so everyone in Heaven would look at me. God grants her the wish, and off through the gate she goes. The next man in line hears what she says, and wishes the same thing. Now, as the line goes on everyone wishes they were beautiful, UNTIL god gets to the last person. When god gets to the last person , the ugly man is laughing so hard. God says "What is so funny?" The butt ugly man says "As my wish... make them all ugly again!"[/b]

That is a good one, were ya get it from?

[KuK3N]

k i got one

One day a bus full of people that were butt ugly was traveling down the interstate when all of a sudden a semi smashes into them,killing them all. Since they were all ugly, noone really cared they were dead. As the ugly people went to heaven (about 20), god made up his mind that he would give each one of them a wish, since noone really cared about them when they were alive. As the first women steps up God announces "I will grant each of u one wish." The women, overly happy, thinks about it for a minute then says, I would like to be beautiful, so everyone in Heaven would look at me. God grants her the wish, and off through the gate she goes. The next man in line hears what she says, and wishes the same thing. Now, as the line goes on everyone wishes they were beautiful, UNTIL god gets to the last person. When god gets to the last person , the ugly man is laughing so hard. God says "What is so funny?" The butt ugly man says "As my wish... make them all ugly again!"[/b]

hahahaha :lol: was hilarious

[VxGoDLikExV]

my friend told it to me one day

[Lev0]

i remember a similar one
translated from dutch so its not perfect

a bear and a bunny are running in the forest the bear chasing the bunny.
they find a lamp, a magic lamp and when the djini comes out giving them 3 wishes for each

the bears goes i am stronger i go first
wish 1: all the bears will be female
wish 2: all the bears will be in the same forrest
wish 3: enough food for all

and the bear happy as he is says your turn bunny

the bunny wishes
wish 1: i want to have a motorcycle so i dont need to run
wish 2: i want to know how to ride it
wish 3: i want that the bear is converted to gay

[The_Real_PlodeZ]

Any racist/religious/sexist/offensive jokes will earn you a 10 day suspension.

Have fun posting!

[aligator]

Any racist/religious/sexist/offensive jokes will earn you a 10 day suspension.

Have fun posting![/b]

there goes my black humor

[SexE]

k i got one

One day a bus full of people that were butt ugly was traveling down the interstate when all of a sudden a semi smashes into them,killing them all. Since they were all ugly, noone really cared they were dead. As the ugly people went to heaven (about 20), god made up his mind that he would give each one of them a wish, since noone really cared about them when they were alive. As the first women steps up God announces "I will grant each of u one wish." The women, overly happy, thinks about it for a minute then says, I would like to be beautiful, so everyone in Heaven would look at me. God grants her the wish, and off through the gate she goes. The next man in line hears what she says, and wishes the same thing. Now, as the line goes on everyone wishes they were beautiful, UNTIL god gets to the last person. When god gets to the last person , the ugly man is laughing so hard. God says "What is so funny?" The butt ugly man says "As my wish... make them all ugly again!"[/b]

Rofl.

i remember a similar one
translated from dutch so its not perfect

a bear and a bunny are running in the forest the bear chasing the bunny.
they find a lamp, a magic lamp and when the djini comes out giving them 3 wishes for each

the bears goes i am stronger i go first
wish 1: all the bears will be female
wish 2: all the bears will be in the same forrest
wish 3: enough food for all

and the bear happy as he is says your turn bunny

the bunny wishes
wish 1: i want to have a motorcycle so i dont need to run
wish 2: i want to know how to ride it
wish 3: i want that the bear is converted to gay

[/b]

Not funny at all :mellow:

Either the joke is super bad or you just suck at translating O_O

[Birotx]

weri fanni lol

[giga]

k i got one

One day a bus full of people that were butt ugly was traveling down the interstate when all of a sudden a semi smashes into them,killing them all. Since they were all ugly, noone really cared they were dead. As the ugly people went to heaven (about 20), god made up his mind that he would give each one of them a wish, since noone really cared about them when they were alive. As the first women steps up God announces "I will grant each of u one wish." The women, overly happy, thinks about it for a minute then says, I would like to be beautiful, so everyone in Heaven would look at me. God grants her the wish, and off through the gate she goes. The next man in line hears what she says, and wishes the same thing. Now, as the line goes on everyone wishes they were beautiful, UNTIL god gets to the last person. When god gets to the last person , the ugly man is laughing so hard. God says "What is so funny?" The butt ugly man says "As my wish... make them all ugly again!"[/b]

my dad told me that one years ago <_<

there goes my black humor [/b]

drag dude...........
maybe if u put them in spoilers and put some kinda warning "dont read if your black"

[crackurbak]

(1)

I haven&#39;t spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don&#39;t like to interrupt her.

(2)

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

&#39;In honor of this holy season&#39; Saint Peter said, &#39;You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.&#39;

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. &#39;It represents a candle&#39;, he said.

&#39;You may pass through the pearly gates&#39; Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, &#39;They&#39;re bells.&#39;

Saint Peter said &#39;You may pass through the pearly gates&#39;.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of woman&#39;s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, &#39;And just what do those symbolize?&#39;


The man replied, &#39;These are Carols.&#39;

(3)

Are Computers Male or Female?
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

Things like &#39;chalk&#39; or &#39;pencil,&#39; she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn&#39;t certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

[CYANEXTIME]

Any racist/religious/sexist/offensive jokes will earn you a 10 day suspension.

Have fun posting![/b]

Religious/Sexist jokes?Theyre the most funny... Come on...zzz..