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Joke thread: any joke

This is a discussion on Joke thread: any joke within the Off Topic forums, part of the Entertainment category; try and keep racism down plz. An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man ...
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  1. #1
    iwanttopk
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    Default Joke thread: any joke

    try and keep racism down plz.








    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.

    The old man just stared.

    Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring.

    The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"

    Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

  2. #2
    Dro
    Dro is offline
    As hot sauce on your taco Senior Member
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    It was a really hot day and this blonde decided she would go buy a coke. She went to the coke machine and when she put her money in, a coke came out - so she kept putting money in.
    And since it was such a hot day, a line had formed behind her. Finally, a guy on line said, "Will you hurry up? We're all hot and thirsty!"

    And the blonde said, "No way. I'm still winning!"

  3. #3
    Sabandija
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    im not racist but this is quite funny.

    what a mexican says when his house falls on him.

    he says.










    get of me homes xD :wub:

  4. #4
    iwanttopk
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    LOL

    There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head stranded on an island. The nearest land was 20 miles away. The brunette got bored and was desperate and started swimming, 10 miles later she drowned. The red head jumped in and swam 5 miles, and drown. At last the blonde jumped in, swam 15 miles, got tired. and swam back.

  5. #5
    NooBZilla
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    There is this girl with no arm and no legs sitting on the beach. A guy walked by and she started crying. The guy asked, "Why are you crying?" She said, "I have never been kissed before". So the guy kisses her. She starts crying again. The guy asked, "Why are you crying now?" She said, "I have never been screwed before." So the guy picked her up and threw her in the water and said, "now your screwed."

  6. #6
    Vertig0
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    I think I have told this one to alot of people but it still makes me giggle when I tell it. Enjoy.

    What did the banana say to the vibrator?
    What are you shaking for, shes gonna eat me.
    :unsure: B) :lol:

  7. #7
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    blonde a black head and a red head on an island find a genie and black wishes for a boat to land redhead wishes to be home them blonde says i wish i had my friends back

  8. #8
    bountyhunter
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    A smoker, alcoholic and a gay went to fortuneteller. Fortuneteller told them that they will die the next time they do the thing they are addicted to.
    So the 3 guys were walking back home and passed a bar. Alcohoic said i need drink, went in drank and died. Oter 2 guys were like OMFG he actually died.
    Then the smoker spotted a sigaret on the ground and gay told him " now dont bow when picing it up, or we will both die."

  9. #9
    iwanttopk
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    Originally posted by bountyhunter
    A smoker, alcoholic and a gay went to fortuneteller. Fortuneteller told them that they will die the next time they do the thing they are addicted to.
    So the 3 guys were walking back home and passed a bar. Alcohoic said i need drink, went in drank and died. Oter 2 guys were like OMFG he actually died.
    Then the smoker spotted a sigaret on the ground and gay told him " now dont bow when picing it up, or we will both die."

    lol gross

  10. #10
    bountyhunter
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    A kid called Jake makes trouble in school so the teacher gives him a task to remember 3 words and tell those to her tomorrow.
    So the kid walks home and hears a homeless saying "FUCK", kid remembers it and goes home. At home kids parents argue and
    dad tells mom "Go to hell whore!", kid remebers it and is worried about the 3rd word. He tought he will go tho hes brothers room and
    remeber the first word hes brother says. He walks up to hes brothers room and the brother yells " BATMAN!".
    Next day at school the teacher asks kid to tell those 3 words to her. " FUCK.. " teacher looks at the kid supraisingly and says" what?! lets go and see the headmaster rightaway!". kid continues " Go to hell whore!" the teacher is angry and asks " Who do you think you are ? " " BAAAATTTMMMAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!"
    :lol:

    Sry for bad english :P

  11. #11
    iwanttopk
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    hah

  12. #12
    kennyburger
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    my long retarded joke just read it all..

    theres a fly flying a foot above the lake and says to himself i might drop 6 inches
    and theres a fish thinking if the fly drops 6 inches i will jump up and eat him
    and theres a bear thinking if the fly drops 6 inches the fish will get the fly and ill get the fish
    and theres a hunter thinking if the fly drops 6 inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish and ill shoot the bear
    and theres a mouse thinking if the fly drops 6 inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish and the hunter will shoot the bear and ill snag the hunters sandwitch
    and theres a cat thinking if the fly drops 6 inches the fish will get the fly the bear will get the fish the hunter will shoot the bear the mouse will get the sandwitch and ill jump on the mouse and get him

    so the fly drops 6 inches
    the fish gets the fly
    the bear gets the fish
    the hunter shoots the bear
    the mouse gets the sandwitch
    the cat jumps misses and lands in the lake

    the moral of the story is if the fly drops 6 inches the pussys gonna get wet..

  13. #13
    Guachimagaa
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    Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

    The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

    Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

    The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

  14. #14
    Senior Member Shurt's Avatar
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    Why no racism? Racism can be quite funny, the only problem occurs when it gets taken too seriously.


    http://rapidshare.de/files/33406876/Americ...litary.wmv.html

    ^ - My joke

  15. #15
    OohYouTouchedMyTraLa
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    Aussies are gay.


    ZUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHahAHahaHAHAa

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