Psy gives advice.

[Psy]

I will help you. You ask yourself, "How can a miserable fool like Psy help me?" Tough Love. Send me a question, or ask for advice through PM, and I'll post for everyone to see with my advice.

My first question comes from Parasitic:

What can I do to improve my life? I work a blue collar job and don't know how I'm going to get into the college I want to attend by this time next year. Help please[/b]

Dear Parasitic,

Blue collar, eh? I can offer several sets of advice.

1: Student loans. An old Jewish proverb says, "Education spent in silver will pay dividends of gold." However, the Jewish were the ones who propagated circumcision ritual. Sick fucks.

2: Sell all of your worldly possessions. In another thread I read you weren't going to need your computer for another 3 weeks. Hock that piece of shit and go cold turkey. If you plan on writing papers, you can do it the same way your future professors did, typewriting.

3: 18 credits at a public college is as low as 4K a semester. Build up some transfer credits and your GPA and you can transfer to any college you want. There's nothing wrong about starting at a public college, but getting your degree at one is another story. If you can't save up 4k, then you are an epic failure not fit to live

4: Since you're working blue collar, I suspect you go out and party with friends or drink by yourself to relieve the built up stress from having to work only to get a good chunk of your paycheck given to some lazy crackwhore in Philadelphia who is already supported by 6 child support checks. Save the money you would have spent on booze and pot, let the stress build up inside you. Get a girlfriend, have her relieve the stress. If it fails to fulfill her duties, you could always use it as a punching bag (Or invest a little bit of the money in Yoga classes. I suspect you'll be as miserable as you were during college: after college)

5: Student loans invested in education disappear after you die. What does this mean? If you get stressed out over having to pay, then just kill yourself for an easy way out.

[Metalkon]

I am confused.

[moemoneyman]

How can i get a fat ugly girl to go out with me without making her think that I am only asking her out for the sex?

[bomb5hell]

How can i get a fat ugly girl to go out with me without making her think that I am only asking her out for the sex?[/b]

Sad part is your probably not joking.

[moemoneyman]

Sad part is your probably not joking.[/b]

Why is that sad?

[SnootchieBootchie]

Drinking and posting much?

[bomb5hell]

Why is that sad?[/b]

When are you going to become a boy again?

[Psy]

How can i get a fat ugly girl to go out with me without making her think that I am only asking her out for the sex?[/b]

Ask her if she wants to have sex as a pickup line. If that doesn't work, tell her you pumped your dick full of barbeque sauce and gravy, and she has the opportunity to suck it all out.

Reminder: Send me a PM to have your questions answered. Monkeynuts up there gets to have the first crack at you before I get to respond

This next one comes from Dro. Well actually two, this motherfucking bastard happened to catch me on a good day.

Originally posted by 'Dro'
Two questions:

1) What's the best way right now to get ride of a body after a rape/murder/rape, in that order?

2) What can I do to be as cool as you?

Dear Dro,

Since your DNA is already in/on the the male prostitute's body, I suggest you purchase some (But better to steal from your university, you can not be traced and it's higher grade) Hydrochloric Acid online and perform the art of liquification. All but his bones will eventually be liquified, however the bones will be weakened and may possibly be crumbling. What you could do with the bones is grind them into dust and sprinkle it over a neighbor's garden. Not only will you kill their immediate harvest, but in the years to come they will be eating homosexual bone marrow. But I'm getting ahead of myself here, when you dump the Liquified remains it would be best to do it in the sewers. Even though the DNA evidence would be damaged, it could still be recognized as human, so if you were to ever dump it down a drain at your house and "La Policia" were to come by, there would be no trace.

However, you could always fillet your victim and water up the flesh, then throw it over a boat as fish chow. Keep any souvenirs you want, being a Beaner I would expect you want the testicles and/or nipples.

It's impossible to learn how to be as cool as me from me. But if you wish to be my disciple, you must first be a pessimistic misanthropic hatemonger who considers the opposite view on everything regardless if it's wrong or right, and has no problem being the devil's advocate. You must see everything in an innocent and destructive point of view: a tooth brush- hygenic tool, or an unsharpened shiv; a pillow- relaxation device, or an instrument used to smother victims. But above all, you must be able to see yourself from a 3rd person point of view by analyzing yourself as an acquaintance or close friend of yourself: a festered prick, or a college student. Person who makes jokes at the expense of others, or a gentleman. But if you think you have the ability to think like me, then you don't need to learn to be cool from me, because you wouldn't care; as I don't.


And wouldn't you believe Dro the Hoe wanted me to answer a third question? Maybe I'll get around to it tomorrow. Maybe.

[Psy]

This next question comes from bomb5hell.

I have been looking at boys a lot lately. I haven't been getting hard when I look at porn. What do you think I should do? Maybe experiment?[/b]

To make sure you are gay, go to a hair salon and ask for a man to cut and shampoo your hair. If you feel anything strange in your belly or chest as he runs his fingers through your hair, you might be gay. If you get a hardon, you are definitely gay.

Depending on the results of this experiment, you can opt to experiment further. KO4Life is a breeding ground for latent homosexuals such as yourself. Perhaps you can have e-sex sessions over instant message, exchange penis enlarging subscriptions and techniques, and before ultimately meeting up with the fat pimply nerd, like yourself, you two could hire a male prostitute to help you get acquainted in the art of buttsex.

Then won’t you feel silly you sick fuck?

By the end of the night you’ll have opened up a male prostitute and crawled into him like a tonton while you play “Who did it cum frum?” with sperm samples on their faces.

[Metalkon]

How do I get a job in a french speaking community without knowing anything in french, and also without moving to another location?

Also 90% of Jobs require speaking french and its extremely hard to find work in this area in the first plac.

:P

[Psy]

How do I get a job in a french speaking community without knowing anything in french, and also without moving to another location?

Also 90% of Jobs require speaking french and its extremely hard to find work in this area in the first plac.

:P[/b]

The same way wetbacks get jobs in the USA. Find a friend who speaks both English and French, then ask them to get you a job doing manual labor or a job as a cleaning lady in a hotel (something Dro aspires to roleplay as some day). If you hold some self respect, then you'll at least make an attempt at learning the language. If all else fails, you can always run away and join the circus. You can be 'The Freakshow who Couldn't Learn a Second Language.'

[Parasitic]

I find it hilarious how he can be a total asshole about giving the advice, be funny, and somehow be a little right, especially about the crackwhore part h34r:

[sime217]

how do i get you to shut the fuck up?

why is everyone on this site (except me and a handful of others) a complete geek?

why does ko4life blow?

why did you make this topic?

[Parasitic]

how do i get you to shut the fuck up?

why is everyone on this site (except me and a handful of others) a complete geek?

why does ko4life blow?

why did you make this topic?[/b]

You're no fun at all man, this is supposed to be funny, even if he is serious about it, embarrassing us is still funny, and if any one whines that he posts what you say, your own damn fault for opening your mouth. I find this very entertaining, and I'm sure everyone else reading it does as well. so sime, if you don't like/get it, please leave or figure out what's going on.

[sime217]

regardless of his intentions i stand by my questions because i just cant seem to find an answer to them, and the second one, is particularly directed to you, you emo-loving-marylin-manson faggot

by the way, might i add, that you are also a massive suck up