This is a discussion on fuck my life within the Off Topic forums, part of the Entertainment category; www.fmylife.com
A site full of funny and random shit, good for the lols when bored at work or school.
Today, ...
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www.fmylife.com
A site full of funny and random shit, good for the lols when bored at work or school.
Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I decided to sit on the glass case protecting cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML
LOL
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL pwnd by teacher :lol:
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Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. At that point I noticed my phone had fallen out of my pocket in the street and was run over by several cars. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
feeld sorry for him xD
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Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
yeah right internet not working but email is working haha nice one
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Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
ROFL :lol:
didn't someone already post this im pretty sure this is where i found it a week or two ago
this is funny lol
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
OMG EW EWEWEW
Something similar happened to me...there wasnt a promise ring involved...but around the time my girlfriend and I started dating (over 2 years ago)...her parents were in the process of moving between houses (their old house is DIRECTLY across the street of the house they currently live in)...well since nobody was home in the new house...she and I decided to have sex up in what was her room and yeah...needless to say her dad had to come get the Foremann grill which was over at the new house...so as we were going to it, and I had her screaming...her dad was waiting outside the front door the ENTIRE time...and when we both finished up, he walked in all nonchalantly (sp) as if nothing happened...but we both knew he knew >_<Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
ROFL :lol:[/b]
thanks for that wonderfull story.Something similar happened to me...there wasnt a promise ring involved...but around the time my girlfriend and I started dating (over 2 years ago)...her parents were in the process of moving between houses (their old house is DIRECTLY across the street of the house they currently live in)...well since nobody was home in the new house...she and I decided to have sex up in what was her room and yeah...needless to say her dad had to come get the Foremann grill which was over at the new house...so as we were going to it, and I had her screaming...her dad was waiting outside the front door the ENTIRE time...and when we both finished up, he walked in all nonchalantly (sp) as if nothing happened...but we both knew he knew >_<[/b]
no problem xDthanks for that wonderfull story.[/b]
Today, I ran for my school's elction for president. I thought I was popular enough to win. I lost, by 61 votes, my grade is 62 people. I was the only onen to vote for myself. FML
Today, I went downtown to pay my speeding ticket. After standing in line and arguing with a rude woman behind the desk, I get back to my car only to find an expired meter and a parking ticket. I got a ticket while paying my ticket. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML
Today I was in a chatroom, speaking to a girl. We liked each other and got on well. She told me that she had dumped her boyfriend because he was such a bastard. 20 minutes later, we sent each other our photos... it was my ex. FML
Last one is prolly impossible but fuckin funny :P
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
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ROFLMAO
You just found this website? It's quite old, it's one of those I check on daily, along with Explosm, LICD and CAD.
yep its really old i have it on my iphone and theres only maybe 1-2 new good stories every day
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
hahaha
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking". FML
I feel bad.
this one too..haha.
Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FM
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