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> > Subject: The facelift
> >
> >
> >A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
> >$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
> >On her way home, she stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper.
> >Before leaving, she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking,
> >but how old do you think I am?
> >About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says
happily.
> >
> >A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl
> >the very same question. The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
> >The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
> >
> >Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a pharmacy
on
> >her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to getsome mints
and
> >asks the clerk this burning question.
> >The clerk responds,"Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds,
"I'm
> >50, but thank you!"
> >
> >While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting
next to
> >her the same question.
> >He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young,
> >there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
> >It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands
under
> >your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you
are."
> >They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the
best
> >of her.
> >She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead." He slips both of
his
> >hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and
carefully.
> >He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple.
He
> >pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
> >After a couple of minutes of this, she says "Okay...How old am I?"
> >He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands and
says,
> >"Madam, you are EXACTLY 50." Stunned and amazed, the woman says,
> >"That was incredible, how you could tell?" The old man says, "Promise
you
> >won't get mad?"
> >"I promise I won't." she says. "I was behind you in McDonald's...."
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